My name is Maseaniliano Pleasariano and I live in the beautiful coastal city of Positano, Italy
. I traveled here from outer space on a rocket ship fueled by my mother’s meatballs and family fettuccini sauce. I had to leave my galaxy due to an overwhelming about of illegitimate children. If you think diapers on earth are expensive you’ve never raised a small child on a diet of pizza and nacho cheese on the other side of Mars. One time I ate chicken wings with David Beltran and taught him how to gamble on sports and eat LSD at car shows. I raced unicorns for most of my life. My stepmother bought me a MacBook pro for Veteran’s Day in 1956 and that’s when I invented electronic music and also the shoe horn. My favorite movie is Rain Man. I’ve eaten 3 entire large pizzas in one sitting at a truck stop in Missouri. Talents include napping, constant Facebooking, being able to watch ESPN and Cartoon Network for extended periods of time. If I were to win this beauty pageant I would take as much time as I could to teach the children of the world the joys of collecting plastic cups from division one campus bars. I’d also end world hunger and help America shape up as I am known for my fitness by people in my area.